Little things

I wish I had more time to write long blog entries for this thing, even if only a handful of people read them. I don’t know why but it feels like I do way too many things all the time, basically since I moved to Tokyo. I don’t know how to stop – start turning down invitations, I guess, but I always want to do everything and I have a lot of friends I want to see regularly. I also over-commit myself, especially when I’m drunk. Like, I’m participating in a fashion show this weekend mostly for the experience but it’s a big time commitment and I could have been relaxing at home after a week where I had something to do every single night…

Getting a boyfriend hasn’t helped either – not that I’m not enjoying myself or that I don’t like him, of course! Quite the opposite, I’m having fun with a new experience and just sort of seeing how things go. He’s Japanese and we’ll call him Mitsu. But I think I realized right after I planned first dates with him and another (British) guy that “Wait, I don’t have the time to be dating, what am I doing focusing energy on this?” But in the end I liked talking to him and we clicked in person (as for British guy, we had a good date and had a lot in common but I didn’t feel a spark), and when he asked me to be his girlfriend a month ago I said yes. I don’t regret the decision but it’s just another thing to fit into my schedule…

I still like my job but parts of it are starting to bug me. I guess mostly it’s just certain other people – some of them really rub me the wrong way. The annoying “sou sou sou” IT guy still bugs me (although it turns out “sou sou sou” is actually office-appropriate, but it’s still irritating when he does it), so do a few Japanese women who seem really fake, and one scheduler in my department is super irritating. I also really hate the way the office is laid out. There’s only one entry/exit door everyone uses and there are a million bottlenecks, narrow hallways, and corners and you nearly run into people like at least 10 times a day, leading to tons of awkward “Sorry, sumimasen” moments where everyone ducks their head and looks humble (a Japanese behavior mannerism that really bothers me coming from some of the more passive women in the office, I just want to shake them). The desks in my department are closely bunched together and if you roll your chair back you’ll hit the chair of the person behind you. One guy always, ALWAYS manages to smack his protruding gut on the back of my chair whenever he goes past it. The women’s restroom is the worst though – two stalls and ONE sink for 35 women, most of whom want to brush their teeth after lunch. I wish we’d move to a bigger office, I’m seriously so sick of this. Overall it’s a good job and a good place to work, but little things here and there bug me.

My house is also becoming an issue. Over the summer a British girl moved in. Her room was across from mine and didn’t share a wall so she didn’t bother me too much, except when she’d take her laptop to the kitchen downstairs and leave the door open while talking loudly on Skype to friends back in the UK at 11 p.m. our time – when I was trying to sleep. Then I moved to a room that DID share a wall with hers and she began to annoy me more – her alarm in the morning would go off about five times, all before I needed to get up, and her boyfriend was over a lot staying over and making dinner with her in the kitchen (he was always really nice though). So I wasn’t sad when she said she was going to move out and into an apartment with the boyfriend, but a few weeks before she moved out her friend, another British citizen, moved in. And he also wasn’t the most considerate – for one, he ate all my eggs. I bought a pack of 10, and I hadn’t touched it before all the eggs but one had magically disappeared. My name was written on the container, which had been enough in the past with my other three (Japanese) roommates. After I noticed a couple eggs missing, I put a rubber band around the container to further deter theft. IT DIDN’T WORK. HE KEPT EATING THEM. I don’t know for sure it was him but if my other roommates never did this and it happens right after he moves in, I think the evidence is clear. Anyway, I wasn’t thrilled with him, but then it got worse. A couple weeks ago, HIS friend (also British) moved in. I guess this guy came from his own apartment because he brought a bunch of kitchen stuff. The problem is that he hasn’t made ANY effort to adjust his behavior from living on his own to living in a shared house. He plays TV episodes and sports commentary loudly in his room on the weekends, he plays techno music late at night, he and the other guy chat to each other across the hall from their room starting at 11 p.m. on weeknights, and these walls are THIN so you really can’t do this sort of thing without quickly annoying everyone around you, only they never thought to consider that. There’s also issues with unwashed dishes and not locking the front door after coming home. Anyway, I’m so fucking sick of these British assholes. I’ve complained to our share company twice and so have some of my other roommates, and actually this week on weeknights they were pretty subdued, but I also found out one guy went home to the UK so it could just be that the other guy doesn’t have anyone to talk to. I really hope though that these bad habits have been nipped in the bud. I also made a fake quiet hours sign ‘from’ my sharehouse company and hung it upstairs and downstairs so I hope that helps too. I’m moving out in April but I wish it was sooner if this sort of shit is going to keep up…

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Best/worst of my Okcupid messages

So, I’m happily taken and all, but the other night I was in a group Skype chat with most of my closest local friends (including some who have moved away) and the recent dating escapades of one of them came up. I encouraged him to spruce up his Okcupid profile to improve his chances of finding someone better, and in order to see his profile I had to log in to my account… which is largely dormant but for some reason I enjoy answering those stupid questions… and I thought I’d see what ridiculous messages have accrued in my absence. It says right on my profile “Seeing someone” and under “Contact me if” it says the effect of “I’m taken, so it’s not a good idea” and has for YEARS but I continue to get messaged by dudes who clearly don’t read. If I were on the site to date that would be automatic disqualification. If all you did was look at the pictures, skim the profile, and then send me a generic message? No.

Anyway, I thought it would be interesting to post some of the silliest messages here and mock them! That’s always fun. Typos and weird punctuation, unfortunately, completely retained.

The “So generic it feels custom” faux personalized mass message (but fails because it gives away that you didn’t read that I’m taken)
– “We r so close yet so far!!! Wud u like to have a minimum distance between us?” (whaaa?)
– “Hello beautiful how are you? Just wanted to message you and see how you were doing :)”
– “Bonjour! How’s it going? Having a splendiferous day? :-)”
– “I’m willing to bet that you’ve gotten about 1000 emails from guys saying something like “omg, ur hot..lets sex” or “my name is Steve I love holding hands and cuddling” lol. If that’s what your used to then this email is refreshing. I’ll let you know right off that I’m not your average guy. I’m 27, can make anybody laugh, green eyes, tall, athletic, a business owner, i love to travel, work out, hit up the lake. I’m a nice guy but I know how to be bad. If you are a girl with intelligence, sensuality, and a sense of humor, feel free to message me” (this might work on some girls but nothing about it is customized to me, so you know he’s sent it to at least 10 or 20 others)
– “wow you are really pretty”
– “Hello pretty lady. How u doing with this lovely weather going on lol? By the way my name is [redacted]. I was just broewsing ur profile I see what I like what u putting on ur page. U can review mine but didn’t put lots of thing about me cuz I don’t really like to type all that. But if you intersted of a gentelman like me who is treat u well nad take care of you like an angel you are the right page!!! Well idont want ur eyes getting hurt so if you like what you see get at me inbox and will see where we should fallin into. Anyways thanks for reading and understand what I came from.” (hilarious typos, and again, classic mass message)
– “I’m [name] and I really liked your profile, you seem really sweet and I would love to get to know you better. Home to hear back from you soon!”
– “Hey, how’s the online dating working out?” (is this supposed to be a neg?)

The “let’s riff on Japanese stuff/Japan because you mentioned it in your profile” message
– “We share a lot of our nerdy/geeky interests, and you seem like you’ve got a lot of energy for literature and the like =) I’m also minoring in Japanese here at [local university]! I’d love to hear back from you! You seem really interesting!”
– “First off I must say, being able to work with TOKYOPOP is crazy. I don’t read much manga myself, but I do enjoy animes and other nerdy junk. Anyways I can’t judge you solely on a persons profile, so I was wondering if you would like to talk sometimes. If you aren’t interested let me know,….. if you are cool. Nice to meet you”
– “wow you are sexy!!! r u real? haha mangas and such!!! :)”
– “what mangas would you recomend? im reading Bleach(i know) & Berserk” (“I know” indeed)
– “I think freckles are cute 🙂 Will you teach me Japanese?”
– “What Anime do you like to watch?”
– “So you like anime?”
– “the ice has been broken. yo im [name], apparently we both like anime.” (yo)
– “Konnichiwa, genki desuka? What’s your plan for the weekend? I need to clean my old apartment. How’s your learning Japanese? When you have time, you should practice Japanese with me. We can be fun chat friends too =) Takeshi” (well, apparently this guy was actually Japanese)

The futile message that at least shows you read
– “Ugh you have a boyfriend. You are definitely my kinda geek. Just throwing that out there.”
– “Too bad that you are taken, you seem rather adorable..”
– “Dump your Boyfriend: Who are you kidding? You have a boyfriend? If you got to meet me…you would fall in love and you wouldn’t have to spend your time on the internot.”
– “Dump him, he cant treat you any where as nice as I would.” (after these messages I had to put a thing on my profile saying no, of course I’m not going to dump my boyfriend for you!)

The random
– “Do you watch any TV shows?” (for a while my favorite TV shows was the one thing missing from my profile. But when that’s ALL you say in your message…??)
– “Happy Saturday!”
– “david sedaris” (I mention him as one of my favorite authors in my profile. But that was seriously the entire message)

Ugh. Looking at all this, I can’t help but be reminded of that scene from When Harry Met Sally, after Harry and Sally have a crisis and call their friends (a live-in couple) separately. Carrie Fisher’s character (I remember the important things about one of my favorite movies, obviously) hangs up with Sally and her boyfriend hangs up with Harry, and they turn to each other in their bed and say:

Carrie Fisher’s character: Tell me I’ll never have to be back out there again.
Her live-in boyfriend: You’ll never have to be back out there again.